August 28, 2000
Affirmative action has reached a new level in California:
"Nineteen positions are open at the Riverside (California) Police Department for gay applicants.They must pass written, oral and physical tests, and must submit to a psychological evaluation, a polygraph test and an extensive background check."
Let me guess…
In the written test, they must show they are able to write "intolerant homophobic heterosexual bigots" without spelling mistakes;
For their oral test they will be asked to speak on the above subject using only politically correct language.
In the physical tests they must display that they do have damaged their anal area and are infected with at least one of TBC, HPV, HIV or full blown AIDS;
In their psychological evaluation they must show that they are really deviant, and fall easily into behaviour derived from their tendency.
In the extensive background test, they will check that they either have been abused as a child or lived in a broken family environment where they have legitimately learnt their deviant behaviour. They will probably look for, and interrogate partners (the more, the higher the score) who can testify of group sex, golden showers, homosexual acts, and other perverted behaviour.
In the polygraph test they will be asked to confirm that all of the above is indeed true.
(The news story, unfortunately, is not a joke)